Micheal Cobley

Interstellar Tactics




The Amazing Obama Rumour Generator

It struck me, after reading the fifty gazillionth rumour that Barack Obama is the Muslim Antichrist, that what the internet needs now is…..The Amazing Obama Rumour Generator! This simple little process requires only a pen and paper and a 6-sided dice. There are three stages; at each one you roll the dice, note down the outcome and repeat until your Amazing Obama Rumour is fully formed. Right, let`s get to it.

The Amazing Obama Rumour Skeleton:

“Have y’all heard? – Obama is really (insert 1st diceroll outcome) from (2nd outcome) and he plans to (3rd outcome).”

Stage 1

Die Rolls;

1 – the 25th incarnation of the anti-Buddha

2 – a small dog called Colin

3 – Agazzerak, the mighty Muffin Demon

4 – Peter Mandelson

5 – the Phantom Rasberry-Blower of Old London Town

6 – a spy working for the intelligence service of the Republic of Kiribati

Stage 2

1 – Rigel 4

2 – the 8th nostril of Great Cthulhu

3 – Mary Poppins’ garden shed

4 – Dr Evil’s genetics laboratory

5 – the dreamtime of the Alaskan Muskox

6 – a future Earth, ruled by Dr Who fans

Stage 3

1 – make us eat our chads

2 – force us to watch 4 hours of Happy Days reruns every day!

3 – reign over us in an empire of the ants, bwah hah hah!

4 – convert the White House into a mega-motorhome and go on tour with Metallica

5 – hand over power to his diabolical friends, the Teletubbies

6 – enslave us with clean air, affordable healthcare and a working electoral system, the traitor!


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10 Comments already, do join in...

  1. Terra Says:

    October 27th, 2008 at 2:29 pm

    ROFL… Thanks for keeping a few things in perspective…

  2. rockitboy Says:

    October 27th, 2008 at 2:44 pm

    I have been told that I must use this power only for good, so there ya go!

  3. Craig Says:

    October 27th, 2008 at 3:00 pm

    I wouldn’t be surprised to start seeing these rumors floated around by those uneducated McCain supporters who know nothing but rumor. Don’t think they’re smart enough to be able to count spots on a die, though. :D

  4. rockitboy Says:

    October 27th, 2008 at 3:52 pm

    OMG! – what have I done! ;-)

  5. Darren Says:

    October 27th, 2008 at 9:05 pm

    Nice one, Mike! Now watch McCain roll up one rumour, Palin another, and some twit from what passes for the GOP brains trust* argue On Fox News** that they’re both true!

    * True for sufficiently unambitious definitions of ‘brains’

    ** For a view as fair and balanced as a one-legged cheating machine.

  6. SR Says:

    January 17th, 2009 at 9:39 pm

    Or you can generate your very own new Obama rumors with the online Obama Rumor Generator:


  7. rockitboy Says:

    January 18th, 2009 at 5:18 pm

    Heh heh – this is actually pretty good; wonder where they got their inspiration from?

  8. Tony Serri Says:

    February 1st, 2009 at 2:55 am


    Believe me . No plaguirism (sp) on my part, swear. I came up with my Obama Rumor Generator on 10/24 and sent the email to my web developers. The inspiration was probably the same as yours.. disgust and amusement at the traction the idiotic rumors were getting. They built it around 11/15 but I changed the intro to post-election date, to give it more legs.

    Anyway, I was delighted to see that there was another one out there. Its too good of an idea for only one guy to have :) Take care.. and hope you drop by the site occasionally

    Your rumor options are hilarious btw.


  9. rockitboy Says:

    February 1st, 2009 at 10:56 am

    Hey Tony, thats cool – loved your site, neat and straightforward and to the point! Glad you like my options, consequence of being a stone solid sci-fi guy ;-) so when the politics gets weird, what are ye gonnae do but get weirder?

  10. Tony Serri Says:

    February 1st, 2009 at 6:33 pm

    Thanks Rockitboy.

    I’ll be checking back here occasionally too to see what you think about the latest happenings. I

    ‘m in California and today the state govt started sending out IOUs. What happens when they default on those? They’ll probably bring back feudalism here.. hey.. we got the nice farmland and all. Where are you from? Hows the economy there?

    Take care and see you soon

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