Ah, what a revelatory general election campaign this has been. All it took was a couple of Yankee-stylee leader debates to reveal how biased and anti-democratic the majority of the British mainstream media have been for, well, quite a long time. One prime-time debate putting Nick Clegg on an equal footing with Cameron and Brown – ONE – was enough to catapult the Liberal Democrats into contention. Why? – because the manichean stereotype of politics (which rules absolutely in the States) was shattered and a large section of the electorate saw that, yes, Virginia, the Lib Dems do present a genuine and sane alternative.

Of course, as expected (and as briefed by Cameron’s bagmen), Fleet Street’s finest coughed up a barrage of screaming, hyperbolic headlines that soared to the heady heights of the famous ‘Freddie Starr Ate My Hamster’. And now the latest vomit-flecked example in this ignoble charade has arrived, courtesy of a website called Policy Diffusion (an amusingly cack-handed title since diffuse  means scattered, spread out, not concise. So, got that one right, then). PD is the product of 4 gentlemen, Richard Thoburn, Mark Rayner, Kevin Harrington and Ken Tonkin; the site gives no links to info on them, but a bit of googling did turn up one Richard Thorburn who has written a couple of booklike objects, namely An A-Z of Why Lefties are Bastards: A Beginners’ Guide to Baiting Lefties, and An A-Z of Why Dave Is a Lefty (and a Toff). Might be him, might not.

Their website flings up a single page, containing mainly a bunch of  gifs taking a malign swing at the Lib Dems with sub-gutter journalism accuracy and clod-hopping wit. But it was the couple of paragraphs at the top which really got my attention. I read them – and once I’d finished gut-laughing I knew I had to do a number on it. Here’s a selection of quotes, with translations.

“Policy Diffusion believes there is a real danger that people will vote for the LibDems without knowing fully what they stand for.” – trans: Policy Diffusion believes there is a real danger that people might find out that the Lib Dems offer what they want, and that they might vote for it!

“(Website founders Richard Thoburn, Mark Rayner, Kevin Harrington and Ken Tonkin) are very concerned about the effect of a hung parliament on the economy” – trans: We are scared legless that a hung parliament would lead to PR and the end of Tory governments with total power to extend greed throughout the land.

“…and…that a Liberal Democrat  government or a coalition government with a strong Liberal Democrat influence would be a disaster for the economy and for the country” – trans: And we are frankly terrified that a Liberal Democrat government would regulate the City and choke off the monster gobs of cash which are gushing out of the Treasury and into the accounts of our corporate mates.

And the piece de resistance? – right at the bottom of the single webpage is a tout for cash donations. Not – If you believe in our sturdy principles and upright demeanour, register for our updates, or take part in our forum, or join our nascent thinktank. Nah, just give us some dosh.

Because that’s what its all about for these gurgling, dead-eyed, heartless feebs of the Right. Yeah, so we’ve had 30 years of Blatcherism, 30 years of throwing the poor and the sick under the bus, all ending with a gargantuan bank-led gangbang of the international economy, resulting in a big uptick in the number of millionaires and billionaires. Yeah, we`ve had all that, true, but…we want more. Thass right. Too much is NEVER enough, and if you think these Liberal Democrats are going get anything resembling a level playing field – even if they do win big – I’ve got some Saddam Hussein-themed condoms to sell ya.

They call themselves the wealth creators, yeah, the ones who cheered on the Tories then Blair, but who whine and yelp every time the possibility emerges that some or even just a little of their ill-gotten gains might be redirected towards the wellbeing of society. They’re not happy with 90% – they want it all, like George Carlin said. And if the Tories win a majority they`ll be coming for your social security, your schools, your hospitals, your museums, your libraries. And then their whining will become a full-throated roar of triumphant greed.

Which is why I will be voting Liberal Democrat on May 6th: there are some areas of the LD manifesto I wish were tougher or more progressive, but at least with them there is a chance that we can put right some of the grotesque flaws of the last 30 years. With Labour or the Tories there is NO chance.