Man, this whole Sarah Palin thing is getting funkily weird. Like when at the start of the debate she asked Joe Biden if she could call him Joe, and for one transcendent, mind-expanding moment I fantasised that Joe would come straight back with ‘Why sure, so long as I can call you Moose Woman of the Frozen North’! Sadly, this glittering rebuff took place only in my head.
And now there’s this regurgitated, reheated guff about Obama’s vestigial connections with Bill Ayers, a former member of the Weathermen, an American homebrew terrorist group from the 60s/early 70s. While Ayers was infrequently associated with Obama in his early Chicago days, it should be noted that during the years of peak Weathermen activity Obama was the ripe old age of 9 (while Sarah was about 5). So what are we to make of this? That Obama was somehow osmotically or otherwise influenced by Weatherman activities before he hit his teens? If that’s possible, then why isn’t Sureshot Sarah also under the influence of gun-toting crazies? (heh heh….)
But this is dumb, box-of-rocks-wise. And hypocritical, since most folks know that John McCain’s Vietnam activities involved (cough) bombing of residential areas in Hanoi and elsewhere. Oh yeah! So Obama is tarred by association with someone never convicted of killing anyone, yet McCain, civilian-bomber-extraordinaire, is a war hero. You betcha.
Where could this approach take us, eh? How about…
Shock Election News: Expert air analysts in the McCain camp confirm that Senator Obama has deliberately breathed air molecules once by inhaled by Adolf Hitler, Genghis Khan, and Saddam! Next up – water molecule analysis shows connections to Emperor Caligula, Pol Pot, and Noam Chomsky!!
Y`know, if all this were happening in a world without the internet, I think I’d probably go completely nuts, insane, bugf*ck as hell and getting in line for the rubber room. But knowing that this BIG DAMN noticeboard has little corners devoted to such wonders of focussed rage as Get Your War On, or the Daily Mash, is essential to resisting the isolation inherent in the international commodity carnival we have to confront day in day out. For enlightenment-through-anger see the following:
So it’s like this – the American Republican party nominates John McCain, a 71-year old with a flaky temper, as their candidate for the White House. Then the McCain campaign picks as his Vice Presidential running mate Sarah Palin, governor of Alaska. Palin delivers a corrosive speech at the Republican convention and suddenly goes from zero to hero(ine). Which just goes to show – you can stick a Patriot missile delivery system on the back of a beatup Chevy pickup and suddenly it’s a rootin’-tootin’, turbo-charged deathmobile. At least until the wheels come off.
Trouble with Sarah Palin is that the wheels came off a while ago; the sacking of city officials when she became mayor of Wasilla; her close ties to the Assembly of God (whose senior pastor, Ed Kalnins, is a fundamentalist with views that spike right off the chart); her own creationist, Biblical-literalist beliefs; and most outstandingly, her approval of Wasilla’s local statute under which rape victims are charged for their own medical examinations. That’s right – in Wasilla, Alaska, citizens pay taxes that fund law enforcement operations, only rape victims pay twice!
So, yes, scary. Like so many politicians and activists on the far-right, she demonstrates little compassion and seems eager to unleash hell on the Enemy, Iraq, Iran, Russia, maybe even the Cayman Islands if their ambassador gives her a funny look. And this woman would be next in line to the Oval Office if McCain wins later this year. Maybe he`ll contract some crippling medical condition, not impossible for a man of his years, and then can you imagine it?
There she sits behind the desk, pictures of her hubby and children to either side, images that smile with loving approval as her finger hovers over The Button. Her eyes are rolling back in her head, showing the whites, and for several seconds she cries out, babbling in tongues, a ferocious torrent of syllables which almost seem to mean something…terrible. While in the outer office, White House staffers crouch wide-eyed and horrified at their consoles, listening to the sounds coming from the Oval Office.
“Tell me when, Lord, tell me when! Let me be your servant, Lord!”
Her eyes are staring now, fixed on the The Button while tiny beads of perspiration stand out on her brow. The corner of her mouth twitches with the beginnings of a half-smile and her finger quivers, strains and moves imperceptibly downwards…
But I have to stop. It’s too much, too crazy, too scary. No-one in their right mind would do that or think that, would they?
And a little voice says, ‘So how would you describe Sarah Palin’s mind?’
And the only answer is, ‘I don’t know’, don`t know the woman, never met her. But as Chomsky said, you should always pay attention to what they do before you pay attention to what they say. So, paying attention to the known facts about Sarah Palin gives no cause for comfort – she acts like an intolerant, paranoid, god-bothering far right-winger, and sounds like one. A scary American? I’m certain that there are a great many ordinary Americans who are good people, kind and generous, the sort that anyone would be happy to have as a friend and neighbour. But as a people they are just not in control of their government (same applies here in the UK). I`m sure there are plenty of ruthless, amoral politicians all around the globe, but none have access to the staggering amount of power now on tap in Washington.
Pray for rain, people. Pray for rain.